so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
