u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
