I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
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