And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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