I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
