Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
