This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
