I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
