AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
