I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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