like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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