i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
