ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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