I can tuck mytits in my pants
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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