Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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