farters have to be the big spoon...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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