I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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