I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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