Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
