This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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