I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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