In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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