The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize