God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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