I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
