He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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