Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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