you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
