I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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