He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize