I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
