You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
