I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
