My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
