just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
This toilet bowl is my home.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
