i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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