You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
