yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
