i will never coherently bang her
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize