True but thats because hes a fetus.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize