Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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