After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
