I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she smelled like a LAN party
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
