hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I want to make a zoo with you.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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