How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
