Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You work out of a Hotel?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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