At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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