so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
