Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
