I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
