we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
