Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
