just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
