He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
