It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize