Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
