You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
